As I see it, nearly all of my matches are mine to win or lose.
If I win: I'm doing good...usually. We'll get into that in a couple paragraphs...
If I lose: The other person didn't win, I lost. It's almost never that the other person "won". Only when I honestly feel that playing at the top of my current knowledge and ability would still not get me a win, did the other person win. For example: My match against Bala at EVO. That was him winning...along with me losing.
I'm very hard on myself when playing matches, and each loss only adds to that. I try to have fun with my matches to keep a more easy-going mindset, but it doesn't always work when I go 0-5, 0-10, etc.. It's something I'm trying to manage better, as I've mentioned in a previous post on this blog.
I hate losing. Straight up. I will get mad at myself, my character, controller issues, whatever. I will NEVER get mad my opponent. Once again, I'm losing the match; they're not winning the match. I'm the one who's not playing good enough to take the match, so I have no one else to blame but me. I rarely ever think my opponents are good enough to straight beat me when I'm at my best. Where's there's a will, there's a way. I have to will to win, and there's some way to it, even if I don't win match after match after match.
"At my best" is an interesting concept, too. I'm very rarely "at my best", and I don't believe most players ever tap into that full ability often, if ever. I define "at my best" as me being able to close my eyes, play the match out in my head, and legitimately imagine myself beating them. If I play the match out mentally and I don't have an answer for many of their tactics, or can't fathom their next move, I know I'm beat.
My saltiness is subsidized some when I face a good player. A player who I think is "winning" more than I'm "losing", but not FAR ahead. Someone who I can take a legitimate round from every now and then but in addition, I learn from my losses because they're matches I really have to struggle in.
It's extremely frustrating, but I understand the necessity to learn from losses. If I can see something new and different while exploring possibilities, I would rather lose more than win. Even if that involves plenty of cussing and raging, to their dislike.
Sadly, my anger is not only limited to my losses. I'm also a sore winner at times. If I don't win matches in a skillful capacity, it upsets me. Though, to a much lesser degree. Winning by luck, missing a lot of inputs, or dropping many combos and still pulling a win makes me feel like a fraudulent scrub, which makes me feel like scum for winning. It's an awful feeling to win without performing smartly or skillfully. If I wanted to win without skill, look like an idiot while doing it, and pretend I'm good, I'd just play Marvel vs Capcom 3. People already do that, if YouTube's videos and comments are any indication.
This can be as discouraging as losing. When the "wins-in-ways-I-don't-want" pile up, so does my stress. It's still a failure on my behalf for not playing up to my expectations and abilities. So, I will get salty at winning. I feel it stems from embarrassment: failing in the face of other people when I KNOW what I'm doing, and acquiring a victory. It only makes sense that if I fail or play poorly, I should lose. When I win, I want to win with everything I have!
That's what my victories are soaked with. Yes, even that "other thing."
The positive outlook in this is that I'm always thinking, win or lose. Even if the answer doesn't come to me right then and there, and that rarely happens, I'm able to keep it in my head, sleep on it, and wake up in the morning still a little upset. This provokes me to look for answers so I do better next time. I want to learn more, so I don't lose in the same manner.
Many people are afraid of failing. Many people are afraid of making mistakes. It's human nature. I often tell myself and others, "Don't be afraid to make mistakes", a quote from one of favorite authors, Robert Kiyosaki. People are so afraid of making a mistake that they freeze up when it's a time to take action.
This also applies to fighting games. People who are afraid to try things will end up blocking all game, or throwing out a desperate attack that puts them in the exact situation they were avoiding in the first place. Difficult times require hard thinking. One's losses and mistakes should be handled in this manner. I make a lot of mistakes and I have a lot of losses. Therefore, I'm thinking all the time! Instead of putting blame on the other player being better, using better characters, cheap tactics, etc., learn what went wrong and what you can do about it.
This creates a better player quickly because they will carry that knowledge with them. It will never be forgotten. It stays with a player due to the human brain remembering the bad times to protect itself in a repeat situation. So unless getting beat over and over is a fun time for you (don't get me wrong, for some people, "if you had fun, you won!" is their "gameplan"), make use of what your brain telling you, and don't get beat again!
Don't get beat again!!
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